Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
