what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize