dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
