Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
