she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just pee around me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize