Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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