Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i have two assholes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
