im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
