have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
