Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
