Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize