So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
