with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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