You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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