life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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