It's like God shit irony all over that family
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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