I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
