she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
