so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My cat gives me a boner
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
