There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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