You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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