well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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