You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
