It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
