I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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