Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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