At least make sure they are 18
Why
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
