All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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