matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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