I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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