Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize