can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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