So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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