I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
