Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
