i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
