If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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