Say something about gay babies.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
