dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I skipped work to stalk him.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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