hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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