i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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