Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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