Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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