Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
