I cannot find my penis.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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