Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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