your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
