She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
