Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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