Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
