Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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