just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
where does the pee come out of this thing
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
