From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
