508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
